I got the blues

Today, I woke up with a heavy heart. I saw him in my dream last night. We were in one place but we never talked. It seemed like we were avoiding each other. I wanted to talk to him but my alarm went on. I don't know what I wanted to say to him. Probably something that I can never tell him if ever I see him right now or the next lifetime.

With the usual routine, I went to work. But as much as I wanted to sleep on my way to work, I couldn't. I was somehow afraid that if I sleep, my dream would continue. Anyway, I was really feeling tired this morning. I wanted to escape and go to a place where I could free my mind from everything that I am thinking of. I wanted some peace and quiet around me (like that is possible?). The day was such a drag. I tried smiling, laughing, focusing on my paperwork and planning for the science congress. I kept myself busy. As usual, I made my hirits especially with the planning of our presentation. I was singing along with the music on RX. I went to my classes and discussed my lesson. I encoded my grades. Seems like I accomplished a lot today! But I still feel empty. I feel tired on the first day of the week. Is that a bad thing?

I know being happy is a choice. I'm trying to be happy. Promise! But it's just so hard to feel that right now.

I call those times as "my moments". When I stop with whatever I'm doing for a while, I feel the pain. I describe it like someone is pinching my heart's blood vessels one by one. What do I do with those "my moments"? I try so hard not to cry and utter a simple prayer.

Despite the blues that I am feeling today, I got a few text messages from my friends that had lifted up my spirits. For no reason or whatsoever, they've been sending me messages. Most of them have no idea with what I am going through but the messages were really tagos, dam-da-min! Thanks guys you have somehow made me smile!

I am praying so hard that I go back to my usual self. Sorry na lakas lang talaga ng tama! Promise tatawa na ko very soon.... As for now have to go make my lachrymal ducts function.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Good night!