What lies ahead

I took a break from all the paper work that I needed to finish. My eyes are tired and so are my hands. I just can't wait to get home and sleep again. But what actually gives me hope is the thought that I only have 7 more days and I'm outta here but what also scares me is that I'm gonna be jobless. Yup, I will be part of the Philippines' statistics of unemployed. I really feel that I deserve a break.

The five-year stay actually took all my energy. It had drained me to death. Of course not physically but psychologically and mentally. But I did learn a lot. I think, working in St. Paul made me a better person. I got to know myself more and how I can push myself just to finish a particular work. I am more patient now. Promise! I'm a lot braver with the gossips that had surrounded me. I am more careful with the people I open up with. I learned a lot in terms of relating with other people. And I gained friends courtesy of my students. MY STUDENTS. They were MY LIFE in St. Paul. I looked forward to our every meeting. I don't wanna get nostalgic here but they made a huge impact in my life....

So now, I don't know what I'm going to do. I asked my mom to give me about two weeks to rest before I look for another job. What kind of job? I DON'T KNOW YET. I'm still waiting and praying for the scholarship grant. But I know in my heart that I didn't get it based from the study proposal that I have submitted. Anyway, if it's not for me - IT'S NOT FOR ME. Where will I go then? Probably try my luck in another country. But I will try to take things slow. I don't wanna rush things and just fail in the end because I missed something along the way. I'll probably try working in a corporate environment or media perhaps. Everything is so unclear for me right now. I just wanna rest and try to think what I want to do with my life. This isn't the time to CHILL, I know. But I DESERVE THIS BREAK so that I can prepare myself better for what lies ahead of me.