AS I MATURE... (Another Office Spam)

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get on by charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learnd that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -
they are more screwed than you think.

I've learned rhat you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken away from you soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this along to five friends... trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe
Something good will happen.

If not... tough shit!