I Made and Lost a Friend in a Week!

How does a friendship start? How does a friendship end?

When do two people start becoming friends? Is it brought by circumstances? similarities? or plain coincidence?

I don't make friends easily. My friends who have known me for a number of years would know that. I stopped being "Miss Congeniality" when I got into college. I guard myself from new acquaintances.

But I made a friend a week ago. I thought it would last. Much to my dismay, it did not. I don't think it's gonna continue after what happened. I wanted to clear things out and be able settle things once and for all. I wasn't given that chance.

I know it was supposed to be between the two of us. But I could not help but react. I am entitled to my reaction because I am a person with feelings. I admit I was emotional at that point. Who would not be? I was being accused of something that is far from being true. What's so shocking is that the insinuation was coming from the person whom I have completely trusted in such a very short time! All these time that we were getting to know each other, were you thinking of me that way? But these are just thoughts that are now running through my head. I wanted to know the truth. Believe me, I'm not being defensive with my reaction. Were you telling me those things because you were being a friend and you wanted to protect me? Or were you one of those who have already judged me? If everything was a joke, it wasn't funny and it will never be.

I wanted to talk to you. I'm being put on the spot now but I wasn't given the chance. First of all, I never meant for this to blow out of proportion but my reputation is at stake whether it happened last year or some eons ago. Second, I don't want you to go through this ordeal and add up to your problems. I did not make friends with you just to make you suffer more. Third, I would never want to hurt you because you are a friend or I was a friend to you.

There's no chance to salvage this friendship. I am crying because I already considered you like family, like a long lost cousin. I don't want enemies.

This is such a nightmare for both of us. It would not be diffcult for me to apologize if I'm at fault but I want to know the truth because it will not appear like that if it was just made up. As you simply put it, it was a joke! Again, not funny!

After such a long time, I was being friendly. Friendly to a fault! Confused, torn, deeply hurt that I have to let go of what was a friendship. I wish you well. You'll never hear from me again nor do anything that will make matters worse and I hope you do the same.

To Lei for the advise, to my cousin for the joke that cracked me up, to my family, to the people who know the real me, love you guys! How could I ask for more?

This was ringing in my head when I was trying to hold back my tears:

Someone's waiting for you

Be brave little one
Make a wish for each sad little tear
Hold your head up though no one is near
Someone's waiting for you

Don't cry little one
There'll be a smile where a frown used to be
You'll be part of a love that you see
Someone's waiting for you

Always keep a little pray'r in your pocket
And you're sure to see the light
Soon, there'll be joy and happiness
And your little world will be bright

Have faith little one
'til your hopes and your wishes come true
You must try to be brave little one
Someone's waiting to love you