Lost

The past few days I've been driving slower than usual. I am enjoying the time of actually looking around rather than speeding up my car. It gives me the time to actually think things through. Just like this morning.

It normally takes me about 35 minutes to drive from the office to our house on Saturday mornings. But not today. I think it took about an hour and a half before I got home. I was trying to relax while I drove. It's like I was reflecting while I was driving.

I don't like what I've become. I'm still figuring out how I should start forgiving myself. I wanted to pound my head for not functioning at an appropriate time. I was staring blankly on the road thinking how I should start rebuilding myself. Leaving the country would really be able to help me. I just have to be tough as I should have been. I should have been able to slay the demons that have been haunting me. It's a heavy feeling but I know this shall pass. I would really appreciate silence now so I can go back to the root of the evil in me.

I know I'm going to bounce back from this. I just have to reassure myself that I'm the tough girl that everyone knows. I'd be smiling again.

BiG GIRLS DON'T CRY
(Fergie)

La Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, CLARITY
PEACE, SERENITY

[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a MOVE ON with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I MUST GO ALONE
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I FORESEE THE DARK AHEAD IF I STAY

[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'M GONNA MISS YOU LIKE A CHILD MISSES THEIR BLANKET
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

La Da Da Da Da Da