My Last Goodbye

My job application to Canada has been giving me a lot of stress lately. I don't know what to feel and think anymore.

The moment I verified that I have to be there by July 29, I cried because I wasn't prepared yet. I asked for an extention and my employer said it's okay. That gave me some kind of relief because I would have more time to actually spend time with people I care most about. A few weeks later, my employer informed me that my request for an extension has been denied and they were expecting me to be there earlier, July 24. I cried again. I didn't know what to feel anymore. I suddenly thought that I won't be able to say my goodbyes to a few more people. And now, my ultimate dilemma. My visa hasn't been processed yet. I can't be there by July 24. I don't know if it's my fault or someone else or the process itself.

I don't know if I should feel relieved that my departure will be delayed. That would mean I can still spend time with my family and friends. I am scared because I don't know how long I would be delayed. I know I should go and I should get going. I told myself that I won't cry anymore. I won't be saying my goodbyes and put much effort in seeing my friends. Once my papers are ready, that's it. No more tears. No more goodbyes. I'd go as soon as possible.

This is the last time that I'm going to say goodbye whether I leave in a few days, weeks, months or not even at all.