I got the blues

Today, I woke up with a heavy heart. I saw him in my dream last night. We were in one place but we never talked. It seemed like we were avoiding each other. I wanted to talk to him but my alarm went on. I don't know what I wanted to say to him. Probably something that I can never tell him if ever I see him right now or the next lifetime.

With the usual routine, I went to work. But as much as I wanted to sleep on my way to work, I couldn't. I was somehow afraid that if I sleep, my dream would continue. Anyway, I was really feeling tired this morning. I wanted to escape and go to a place where I could free my mind from everything that I am thinking of. I wanted some peace and quiet around me (like that is possible?). The day was such a drag. I tried smiling, laughing, focusing on my paperwork and planning for the science congress. I kept myself busy. As usual, I made my hirits especially with the planning of our presentation. I was singing along with the music on RX. I went to my classes and discussed my lesson. I encoded my grades. Seems like I accomplished a lot today! But I still feel empty. I feel tired on the first day of the week. Is that a bad thing?

I know being happy is a choice. I'm trying to be happy. Promise! But it's just so hard to feel that right now.

I call those times as "my moments". When I stop with whatever I'm doing for a while, I feel the pain. I describe it like someone is pinching my heart's blood vessels one by one. What do I do with those "my moments"? I try so hard not to cry and utter a simple prayer.

Despite the blues that I am feeling today, I got a few text messages from my friends that had lifted up my spirits. For no reason or whatsoever, they've been sending me messages. Most of them have no idea with what I am going through but the messages were really tagos, dam-da-min! Thanks guys you have somehow made me smile!

I am praying so hard that I go back to my usual self. Sorry na lakas lang talaga ng tama! Promise tatawa na ko very soon.... As for now have to go make my lachrymal ducts function.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Good night!

The Difference Between Strength & Courage

It takes strength to be firm.
It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard.
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend's pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide feelings.
It takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.

-Anonymous

I got into the habit of listening to Erik Mana's "Morning Inspirations" every weekday mornings at 7 over at Wave 89.1. Aside from his soothing voice, what he actually shares in the morning are truly inspiring. I even found myself into tears (I'm such a crybaby) one time while driving my way to work. I just wanted to share this. Let's all be courageous!

Sana Ikaw

I'm not a big Piolo Pascual fan. But I like this song from the movie "Got 2 Believe". Tagos! Dam-damin!

Ikaw ay dumating bigla sa 'king mundo

Hindi inaakalang ngitian mo ako

Para akong natunaw sa lambing nito

Di ka na maalis sa isip ko

Paano na ngayon ako'y litong-lito?

Bakit kaya ako nahulog na sa 'yo?

Pero meron ka nang ibang minamahal

Hindi naman mahati ang puso

Kaya pag-ibig pinipigilan ko

Pag-ibig na sana ay sa 'yo

Di ba't nararapat sa 'yo

Pag-ibig na buong-buo

'Di ko makakayang may saktan na iba

Kaya't ikaw ay mananatili na lang

Sa damdamin at aking isipan

Iguguhit kita sa alaala

Pagka't tayo ay hanggang panaginip lamang